Valuable lesson learned this week on my part. If you are going to be around nonhomeschooling families you've got to know how to fake it to avoid..... uncomfortable situations.
Tamarin started soccer this week. Overall, I'm excited. The team seems to be a nice, diverse group. The coach appears to know what he's doing. He has good balance between wanting the girls to perform and still have a good time. We had two practices this week. The first practice Tamarin hit it off well with one little girl. The mom asked me where we lived, I answered. She then asked what grade Tamarin was, I answered. She then proceeded to tell her daughter that the two of them went to the same school. I politely said, "Oh, actually we homeschool." Response, "Oh." ....... At the end of practice I heard her asking other parents who their kids' teachers were. I guess I messed up. She said hello to me the second practice, but not much beyond that. I'm not sure if I'm just being extra sensitive because I'm pregnant or if I'm right in thinking she falls into the category of people who believe homeschoolers are bonkers.
Second flub at the next practice: I made the mistake of asking the coach in front of everyone why there is no game on a particular weekend. Every parent in unison, "Fall break!" ......... oops. Gee, let me stand out here like a sore thumb now.... Guess I should have read up and been more aware of school schedules. Honestly, that probably wouldn't be a bad idea so I can avoid parks, zoos, museums, etc. during those time. I guess I'm going to have to brush up my acting skills and learn how to fake it better.
I'm still trying to decide what to train the girls to say when people ask them about school. There's always those well meaning bystanders, "Oh you're so cute. How old are you? What grade are you in?" That's part of the reason I wanted to give them a grade level mostly so they can tell people what grade they are instead of looking at me and saying we homeschool. For me, grade levels are silly in a homeschool setting. Teach your kid. Teach them what you think they need to know. Teach them what they want to know, whether it be something kids their age would be talking about in school or not. In the end I think as long as your kid is progressing in knowledge what's it matter what "grade" you call them?
Any situations where you've had to fake it? What situations have left you feeling that your family stood out like a sore thumb and how did you deal with it? How do you avoid standing out as the awkward homeschool family?
(Reminder: I'm a public school teacher.) I think what you're doing is AWESOME. I love reading your blog, even if this is the first time I've decided to comment.
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad that people stereotype. This applies to every area - not just education. Yes, I've known some crazy homeschoolers. I've also known crazy non-homeschoolers. AND I've known some really well-rounded upstanding homeschooled individuals.(Why is the computer underlining homeschool in red like it's not a word?)
If it works for your family, why in the world is it anyone else's business? Well, for that matter, why would it be anyone's business if it DIDN'T work for your family?
I think what people are doing when they ask what grade the girls are in is trying to make conversation. Why not just tell them what grade they would have entered if they were enrolled in PS? I'm sure you're teaching similar material and every PS classroom is different anyway. Some 1st graders are way ahead of other 1st graders and some are way behind. But they are all still 1st graders. So, PS grades are kinda silly too. It's just a way of dividing up kids into age appropriate groups so you don't get a giant dumb 10yo in the same PE class as the teeny 7yo.
You'll probably still have to let the cat out of the bag in the same conversation (Oh! What school? or Who's your teacher?), but if they can't realize that you just had a normal conversation up until that point and you are obviously an intelligent person, then you don't want the girls hanging out with their kids anyway. Prove those bitches wrong! (Oops. Sorry. I got a little worked up.)
lol Thanks Carrie! See, even autospell is biased against home and school being together! (It keeps doing that to me too :p)In my head I always figured I'd have the kids that you couldn't tell were homeschooled until you asked. My sister-in-law is a teacher too. We talked about that this weekend a bit. She just changed schools and can tell a difference in the abilities of the class as a whole at her new school versus the old one. She said the spectrum of expectations for any grade is large.
DeleteI have to admit I am working on a post where I kinda did the same thing prejudging someone. I guess we are all guilty of it at some point or another. I'm not sure when I'll post it, but I will eventually. I've got four or five posts started and tomorrow's post is a little more serious or at least ends on a more serious note. The next day I think I'm going to get a video of my blind great dane running to lighten it up a bit :p