My cousin was in town at the beginning of the month. He moved in March so it's been nearly a year since we'd seen him. The girls adore him, especially Howler. We were at my grandmother's for a couple of hours. Naturally, Capuchin got hungry while we were there. I put a blanket over us while she fed. Tamarin came back in the room and asked me "Why are you doing that?"
"She's hungry."
"No, why are you doing that? With the blanket?"
I paused for a moment. She's only seen me nurse at home this surprised her to see us covered..... "It's just the polite thing to do when you aren't at home."
......... the more I thought about it ....... the more it irked me ...............
Not my cousin. I don't think he cared. He has been around through all my kids including Howler who WOULD NOT nurse under a cover. She would scream and cry if you tried to cover her face. It was during that time I decided I didn't care about public opinion. I would nurse where I needed to. However at some people's homes I would still go into another room if it made someone present uncomfortable.
I'm still confused by the whole "controversy". This is the purpose of boobs. Does it make men uncomfortable to think of their mom's "dirty pillows"? Most women I know would look upon a nursing mother and smile because it makes them remember their children as infants. What did the women who scorn others for nursing in public go through? Were they unable to nurse? Were they harassed and shamed into feeding in bathrooms? Maybe it is the connection to nature? We after all are mammals, named so for our mammary glands. Is it the fact it reminds people we are at our connected to and similar to other animals?
My sister told me once that a woman asked her while feeding her daughter sitting on a bench in a public venue, "Are you doing what I think you're doing under there?"
"What do you think I'm doing?"
I love how quick she is. My brain doesn't work that fast. This baffles me. Women who are trying to be polite by covering still get harassed.
In high school I went to a sold out opening night for some movie. There was a VERY LARGE, not well dressed, odd looking woman who stood up out of her seat. She turned to the audience and proceeded to feed her infant. I will admit I was among the many who complained to management. "I have no problem with her feeding, but she is obviously trying to make a scene of it."
Retrospect. She was LARGE. She probably could not nurse in the cramped theater chair. I didn't realize how hard it was to feed an infant prekid. Depending on the baby it can be incredibly difficult. I already mentioned #3 wouldn't go under a cover. #1 wouldn't nurse. I had to pump. I worked 4-5 days a week back then. I pumped in the back of my car with blankets held up by the seats trying to not show the odd apparatus to passers by.
So why this stigma on breastfeeding? Here's an interesting article about the church, the printing press and Mary's boobs.
What I want to focus on though is how two faced out culture is.
When THIS is okay to see driving down an interstate, pasted on the side of a semi truck.
but THIS isn't
ABC's What Would You Do? had fun with this a couple of years ago. It mentions Bill Maher calling breastfeeding an 'intimate act'..... There is not a damn thing sexual about it. Ask any mother who has been unable to sleep because she's engorged, had thrush or bleeding nipples because her baby has a bad latch (That's me, right there!). Breastfeeding is not sexual. Breastfeeding is not easy. It's a sacrifice. We put up with physical pain and social inconvenience to try to do what is best for our children. The last thing any woman in that uncomfortable position needs is people giving her crap because they find it socially awkward.
Updated: Yes, I purposefully avoided using the word breasts in the bulk of this post. When you use the word breasts these days people glaze over and think medical, like breast cancer awareness. Our breasts are not defined as a sexual device or a cancerous organ. They are mammary glands. To feed our children with. Grow up people.
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