My Top 3 Places...

...to NOT go with children.

Think you hate hearing kids scream and cry at a store? Believe me, no one hates it as much as the mother holding the hand of the child whose wail is filling the 50 foot ceiling and reverberating through out the mega mart.

Some places are worse than others. Just for fun I thought I'd share the three places I will do anything, seriously anything, to avoid taking my children with me.

#3 Home Depot/Lowes
There's nothing here to get their attention. It's just "Mommy and Daddy's stuff" to them. So they are bored from the get go.

"Are we done yet?" Are we in the check out line? Obviously, we aren't done yet! Stop asking!

And what do kids do when they see no other alternative? They turn on each other..... like hyenas over a carcass. Every time we walk out of a home improvement store, without exception, someone is crying. I remember one day we didn't make it 10 feet from the car. I decided it wasn't worth it, loaded them back up and left. The aura of the building is enough to set the kids on each other.

#2 Hobby Lobby
Let's put all the eye catching breakable things up front! What a great idea! Then all the kid paraphernalia in the back! Perfect!

#1 Petsmart
Let's start with the cornucopia of feces and urine we are going to walk through in the tiny obligatory patch of grass just outside the store. Are the kids watching their step? HA! Of course not. So before we even get IN the store someone is already crying because there is now poo on their shoe.

"Can I look at the birds?!" "I want to look at the fish!" "Mama! Rat!"

So now, someone has to go first and inevitably someone will have to go last. Someone's feeling are hurt and we've not made it 5 feet into the store yet. And no one is ever truly done looking at their favorite animals. How long do they get to look? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? Start with the fish.

"Look at those!"
"I can't see! Mama, pick me up so I can see?"
Howler picks up a bag of gravel because it's, "Pretty!"
"Can we get fish today?"
"No."
"Mama, can we get more fish?"
"No."
"That one! That one!"
Convince Howler to give up bag of gravel and the tears continue.

Slowly make our way to the birds then the small animals midst another flurry of "Can I?" and "No." We manage to make it to the aisle I needed with a trail of crying and whining because no one was done looking. Did I mention I only came in here for a new bulb for my fish tank? We've already clocked 20 minutes in the store. We've scared off all the people who were shopping in this area, except the cranky old lady, holding her little white pocket dog, sneering at me.... both of them.