Guilt

I went to dinner with some other moms last night. We're all part of a local homeschool group. Well, part of, it's not like there's a roster we just get together and do things. Anyway, once a month we have Mom's Night Out. We usually stay lighthearted and complain about things in our lives. We enjoy hearing we're not the only ones dealing with these issues. It always feels good to know you're not alone.

Last night our conversations turned to guilt. Guilt over the way we raise our children. It was interesting to hear everyone saying similar things.

" I wish I had known..."
" If I have another I will..."
" Why did I do that?"
" I can't believe I did that!"
" Sometimes I feel so frustrated/aggravated/upset when I know I shouldn't."

The last being the most dangerous in my opinion. When you dismiss your own feelings you are setting yourself up for failure. It's okay to feel x, y or z (all those emotions good moms supposedly don't feel) at times even when you don't think you should! How can we teach our children to process their emotions when we are so quick to dismiss our own.

The point of this post is to say: You aren't the only one who feels like you've messed up everything and ruined your children. After I left dinner I remembered something a very wise friend of mine used to say:

"You did the best you could with the information you had at the time."

When you dwell on all the ways you should have handled your children differently it's like trying to resuscitate a long dead horse. No matter how much air you try to breath into it, it's gone. The longer you let the corpse sit there the sicker you will become mentally. Bury the horse and move on.

Let's forgive ourselves for all of our true or perceived screw ups and move forward into a guiltless world. Motherhood is hard enough without pouring salt into our own wounds. Just do the best you can with the information you have right now and keep learning.

What's up with the heavy posts? Come on! Some humor. Some lightheartedness. Nope, not today. I've got one more heavy post and then hopefully we can get back to something more entertaining.